This post has to do with her ability to set goals for herself. To set goals and stick to them. To set "boundaries" for her life in ways I have never yet succeeded.
Setting Boundaries of Time
This has always fascinated me. She gets to a point in her day and she says, "I'm done."
- "I'm done working."
- "I'm done reading."
- "I'm done
. . .whatever."
And she just stops!
I don't tend to operate that way. I find it very hard to stop whatever I'm doing. To "turn it off."
I want to keep going.
But I don't. Not really. I want to stop. But another part of me says, "No! You have to keep going!"
But it's this daily boundary issue that has me flamboozled.
And I admire Sarita for setting and keeping daily time boundaries.
Spending Time with the Grandkids
Sarita and I were talking last week about how she came to enjoy our grandkids so much. For some reason I had never become aware of the truth of the situation before.
When our daughter first mentioned she was pregnant with her first child, Sarita's initial response was not joyful.
I was modestly happy. Sarita was moderately dismayed: "I'm too young to be a
With that memory firmly in my mind, I was shocked, then, a year or two later, not when Jadon was born, but
This wasn't the same woman who had seemed to bemoan the fist announcement of Jadon's approaching birth.
What happened in between?
I hadn't heard the story
"I was talking with Jan (a woman from our church)," Sarita told me. "I asked her what she did during the week.
"'Oh,' she said, 'I work at my job a couple of days a week, but then the other days I get to spend with my grandkids!'
"I couldn't understand that. That wasn't the way I was raised. I didn't have those tapes running in my mind.
"My mom told me, when I was pregnant with Amy, that she had done her work when raising [my siblings and I]. She wasn't going to be available to babysit. She was done."
So grandma never did take our kids. When the kids were born, no grandmas (on either side
The "tapes" that Sarita had playing in her mind said that grandkids are a burden. You leave them alone. You've done your work when you've gotten your own kids out of the house.
"But when Jan said that she got to spend time with her grandkids, it made me have to rethink my paradigm. Could grandkids be a joy? Could I enjoy spending time with them?
"I told Amy about my conversation with Jan and said I wanted to try it. I wasn't sure if I could handle it. But I wanted to try."
And I will confess with Sarita that "It has worked out great!"
Sarita loves spending time with the grandkids.
She is absolutely exhausted when they leave at the end of their visits. But she loves having them around.